So..... I was born with a lack of that competitive drive that helps motivate us to find our greatness. In the past, this caused me much pain due to the lack of successes I could show the world. I had nothing to validate the greatness I felt on the inside. I had no self esteem connected with my personality. When I did find love for myself it was love for the light inside me, the part of me where God/Goddess shined through to others. My best part... when I was in my best place. So, of course, I strove to be in that place of love as much as I could. I was always in life for the joy, silliness and pure experience while secretly feeling like a loser when around the people playing by the rules of life so seriously. Quite frankly, I didn't even understand half of what went on socially in high school until my own children were in kindergarten; that is when I realized how many of the 'adults' were playing bizarre little games. It was understanding these interactions that shed light on my teenage years. It was much easier to be authentic when I was clueless. Becoming aware of the judgements, social boxes and expectations was a challenge that occupied my mind for a couple of years when around groups of people. Pile being an empath and feeling others lack of sincerity, buried emotions or unkind thoughts of me and I just wanted to run away. I wasn't sure how to be authentic and safe at the same time so I stayed quiet or took the honest and bold route which was never really understood or appreciated. As I have grown and evolved, I have realized that many of the super competitive people who fooled me into thinking they were the ideal, really aren't. My first reaction was to reject them back, but I soon came full circle and found compassion for their limited ways. So bound up in their appearances on all levels that many of them miss much valuable time in their core. Throwing caution to the wind and living in a way that truly embraces all who cross your path is a blessing full of gifts for your soul. It comes down to inclusion versus competition. Loving versus fearing. It is a GOoD and lofty goal for most... including myself. I must admit that I bought into the competition crap for a few years while sorting all this out. I silently lashed out with my own judgements until the negative jumble in my head was taking up to much precious space... edging out joy. Having love for those in your life who may hurt you, makes you vulnerable, but if you love yourself enough to let go of their story (their projections) you will find yourself growing stronger... strong enough to love them unconditionally. You are the author of your own life, don't be held back by some imaginary list of must do achievements! Live for yourself! A genius is born and a genius dies everyday - unknown to the world. You are a gift. Don't let your dreams go. Empower yourself. It is more difficult to be successful in this world if you don't play by societies rules but I would like to encourage you to try.... because the rewards are far richer!
Be yourself! Love yourself! Love everybody!
...... Feel the magic
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